M.I.A. on Q TV

She is dope, to me.

I wonder why my me does not appeal to my head as much as her her does. Not that I want to secretly be a woman, or in a light but there is something that makes my head think what is the allure to her, especially in this interview (because this is all I know of her), and does (it) choose to manifest itself within me or do I have a choice in any of this.

Are there things about me that I designed and crafted? Sometimes I do believe everything is choice and everyone lives their individual life based on what ever choices they decide in their own. Then there are other times I wonder where the impulse come from. What is it that gives people that feeling of what is right and wrong.

"There is no possibility for anything anymore".

Some things she says makes me wonder where her impulses were created and why, being that she is so interesting to me can I not spring and cultivate the very same impulses I'm so fond of.

"Growth to me is growth to me".

I understand - hard to confuse my thoughts and those of whomever runs things. Snot nosed or what ever they are, pick an adjective, it is hard to see how anyone can say anyone or anything is not growing. It is hard for me to understand half thoughts like that.

Morning Time

I start with a 'hello' and I will end with a 'goodbye'.

Here I am. Another morning and I'm fortunate to see the sun once it's come up. Again, for the first time I am right here. In a place that is familiar. Here I am.

The sun has risen and it feels great.

At night when the darkness is majority and light is only a temporary relapse from the beginning point - for everyone - of complete darkness, there are times that I don't remember what it feels like to feel the sun again. Not that I sit and wonder what the feeling 'feels' like, but I forget about the feeling of the sun because, what I think, darkness is a feeling I'm much more acquainted with. The sun is an acquired relationship.

We were all created in a dark place - our parents may have not been in a dark place, but I do believe there is no light once pops pulls out (if you feel me pullin'). Born into darkness and that is the same way we go out. Assuming that we all will go out, I can only assume when I do it will be to the falling of an eternal curtain followed by the collapse of all darkness dams I've managed to create in my time here. It won't happen to the last ones but everyone else, we have that to look forward to.

Sometimes looking forward is difficult. I've had times when I didn't feel like this relationship I'd built with the sun was properly managed by me and I was without it's intoxicating warmth because of my improper cultivation. Very cynical am I and I understand. To think the sun cares about me is foolish. Away the sun goes from (me) and in turn, or rotation, leaves half a world, but along with capital M-E. The sun comes, and it always has.

That is what the sun does. It comes and will come until the end of the sun.

Not to say the sun has godlike powers, or possesses any powers at all. BUT the sun is there and it will always be there as long as always isn't over.
Whether or not I believe in it's coming, or how I long for it's warmth, the sun comes regardless of me. Because I am just me and not Him.

Full circle, or rotation, I've come back to the end - which is 'goodbye'. But the sun always rises in the end, and the end is just a means to the beginning. So, goodbye.
I'm going to start my day now.